What a great week in the life of Mr. Army Wife. For those who haven’t yet heard, this week I
was asked, and I graciously accepted, an offer to work with a group of amazing
young ladies dedicated to helping military spouses deal with the day-to-day
difficulties of this life. This group is
called Operation: Stand By Your Man. After
being a part of their Facebook group for a while, and checking out there
website, I knew that these ladies were a legitimate organization who does what
they say they are going to do, and who will try as hard as they can to be
honest, open and helpful to every military spouse, fiancé and girlfriend.
One thing that impresses me the most about these ladies is
that they don’t seem to rush their decisions.
Just from discussion I have had with several of the girls, I can tell
that they have seen a need for a male point of view, but they didn’t want to
alienate some of the ladies in the membership by giving a man access to some of
the deeply emotionally complicated issues that come with the military
lifestyle. They were concerned that the
positives that come with having a male military spouse in their leaderships
could never outweigh the negative implications.
After deep discussions, polls of the membership and talking
to me on more than one occasion they decided to move forward with putting me
into the mix. I know there are some who
aren’t supportive of their decision. I
know some of the members may have even taking their problems elsewhere. I know even some of the other administrators
may be holding their breath waiting for this decision to explode in their
face. I know this was an extremely
complicated and volatile decision for them to make. But, I believe it was a very clever one
too. I believe in these women. I am honored to be a part of their
family. Now it is time for me to earn
their trust and respect through my words, my actions and my desire to see them
succeed in this military life.
How can I do that?
How can I ensure these women, of which there are more than 10,000, that
I am not merely looking to creep in on their lives? How can I be there for these women, some of
whom are going through devastating times in their relationships, without
sounding like a judgmental jerk? These
are questions that have been a part of my thoughts with every email that I have
answered, and each comment I have read.
I must earn the trust of every wife, fiancé and girlfriend if this
endeavor is going to be successful. That
is my aim and my goal.
For these reason, I have decided to act according to a set
of guidelines. These are intended to
protect the females I will be helping, but more importantly, they are designed
to protect my own marriage. These are
written with the most important female in my life in mind. Without her, I wouldn’t have the opportunity
to help anyone, and without her, I would be so much less than I am today.
1. My marriage comes first. I will make every effort to not consume my
time answering emails or working on blog posts when that time can be spent with
Heather. If necessary, I will leave my
phone at home, I will turn my computer off, and I will power down the
Ipad.
2. I will not friend request nor accept friend
requests from females I do not personally know or have no reason to talk to
outside of the confines of the Operation Stand By Your Man website or Facebook
page.
3. I will only answer emails from the website
or Facebook page where other administrators have the chance to view, read and
even dispute them if they don’t agree with me.
4. I will respect the privacy of every member
by not discussing difficult issues with anyone except other administrators, or those
people whom I turn when I need advice.
Even in those instances, I will NEVER share names, locations of Facebook
profiles.
5. I will be honest. When you read a response or blog from me,
know that I believe what I am writing. I
may tell you something you may not want to hear. I may say something that you don’t agree
with. I may even end up getting it
totally wrong, but I will not lie to those looking for advice. It does no good to tell people what they want
to hear if that is only going to keep them in the dark as to what is really
going on.
6. I will not shy away from the difficult
topics. Earning trust means tackling the
hard subjects just as much as the easy ones.
There is no subject that is off limits to me, as long as someone wants
to know my thoughts on that subject. If
someone specifically asks that I not comment on something, I will respect their
wishes as it pertains to their email or question.
Let me reiterate that I believe wholeheartedly in Operation:
Stand By Your Man and their mission. I
am going to help them grow, expand and explore each and every avenue that they
believe will help other military spouses live happier and more successful
lives. I believe in the T.E.A.M
philosophy. Together, Everyone Achieves
More. I am excited to be a part of this
team and to be at the beginning of what I believe could be a significant part
of changing people’s attitudes about being a military spouse. Thank you ladies, for putting you trust in
me, and inviting me to join you. I won’t
let you down.
By the way if you haven’t seen the great work these ladies
are doing you can follow these links.
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