Operation Stand By Your Man Gets a New Man!


What a great week in the life of Mr. Army Wife.  For those who haven’t yet heard, this week I was asked, and I graciously accepted, an offer to work with a group of amazing young ladies dedicated to helping military spouses deal with the day-to-day difficulties of this life.  This group is called Operation: Stand By Your Man.  After being a part of their Facebook group for a while, and checking out there website, I knew that these ladies were a legitimate organization who does what they say they are going to do, and who will try as hard as they can to be honest, open and helpful to every military spouse, fiancé and girlfriend. 

One thing that impresses me the most about these ladies is that they don’t seem to rush their decisions.  Just from discussion I have had with several of the girls, I can tell that they have seen a need for a male point of view, but they didn’t want to alienate some of the ladies in the membership by giving a man access to some of the deeply emotionally complicated issues that come with the military lifestyle.  They were concerned that the positives that come with having a male military spouse in their leaderships could never outweigh the negative implications. 

After deep discussions, polls of the membership and talking to me on more than one occasion they decided to move forward with putting me into the mix.  I know there are some who aren’t supportive of their decision.  I know some of the members may have even taking their problems elsewhere.  I know even some of the other administrators may be holding their breath waiting for this decision to explode in their face.  I know this was an extremely complicated and volatile decision for them to make.  But, I believe it was a very clever one too.  I believe in these women.  I am honored to be a part of their family.  Now it is time for me to earn their trust and respect through my words, my actions and my desire to see them succeed in this military life. 

How can I do that?  How can I ensure these women, of which there are more than 10,000, that I am not merely looking to creep in on their lives?  How can I be there for these women, some of whom are going through devastating times in their relationships, without sounding like a judgmental jerk?  These are questions that have been a part of my thoughts with every email that I have answered, and each comment I have read.  I must earn the trust of every wife, fiancé and girlfriend if this endeavor is going to be successful.  That is my aim and my goal.

For these reason, I have decided to act according to a set of guidelines.  These are intended to protect the females I will be helping, but more importantly, they are designed to protect my own marriage.  These are written with the most important female in my life in mind.  Without her, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to help anyone, and without her, I would be so much less than I am today. 

      1.  My marriage comes first.  I will make every effort to not consume my time answering emails or working on blog posts when that time can be spent with Heather.  If necessary, I will leave my phone at home, I will turn my computer off, and I will power down the Ipad. 

2. I will not friend request nor accept friend requests from females I do not personally know or have no reason to talk to outside of the confines of the Operation Stand By Your Man website or Facebook page.

3.  I will only answer emails from the website or Facebook page where other administrators have the chance to view, read and even dispute them if they don’t agree with me. 

4.  I will respect the privacy of every member by not discussing difficult issues with anyone except other administrators, or those people whom I turn when I need advice.  Even in those instances, I will NEVER share names, locations of Facebook profiles.

5.  I will be honest.  When you read a response or blog from me, know that I believe what I am writing.  I may tell you something you may not want to hear.  I may say something that you don’t agree with.  I may even end up getting it totally wrong, but I will not lie to those looking for advice.  It does no good to tell people what they want to hear if that is only going to keep them in the dark as to what is really going on.

6.  I will not shy away from the difficult topics.  Earning trust means tackling the hard subjects just as much as the easy ones.  There is no subject that is off limits to me, as long as someone wants to know my thoughts on that subject.  If someone specifically asks that I not comment on something, I will respect their wishes as it pertains to their email or question.

Let me reiterate that I believe wholeheartedly in Operation: Stand By Your Man and their mission.  I am going to help them grow, expand and explore each and every avenue that they believe will help other military spouses live happier and more successful lives.  I believe in the T.E.A.M philosophy.  Together, Everyone Achieves More.  I am excited to be a part of this team and to be at the beginning of what I believe could be a significant part of changing people’s attitudes about being a military spouse.  Thank you ladies, for putting you trust in me, and inviting me to join you.  I won’t let you down.

By the way if you haven’t seen the great work these ladies are doing you can follow these links. 


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